Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Cooking with basically nothing . . . u huh

This week I have been wanting to experiment a lot of recipes but I quickly realized I brought out very little of the necessary equipment to truly consider myself cooking. "Add water and stir" doesn't really make you want to shout "WOW I can't believe it turned out right!" I would rather say "No, I didn't bring those treats-that was Jerry who brought those shriveling muffins."

But I have discovered two items I brought that has saved me from total shame. First my heaven sent Cobalt Blue Kitchen Aid. I feel like any true culinary artist would up their respect for me if they saw me dressed in my homemade apron and dashing a pinch of marjoram into my Cobalt Blue Kitchen Aid. (I will continual be adding, and uppercasing the words Cobalt Blue because they are as important details as the kitchen aid itself is to me.)

Second I brought the Magic Bullet. You know the thing you see all the time on the infomercials. At first I stuck it in the cupboard of my kitchen waiting for a lonely day when I would need to make a milkshake; assuming that was it's only purpose. Obviously I haven't actually seen the infomercial or I would have been ashamed of my low expectations. I discovered this electronics priceless power when I was in need of a food processor to make my almond butter. I gave it a little test and the results were beyond my shallow expectations. So in a way I guess I am here to advertise the Magic bullet and solidify the fact that it is magic.

Friday, 15 May 2009

Back in Business

I went to the grocery store the other day. An older man with a long white beard approached me and asked, "Excuse me, can I ask you a riddle?"

At first I was a little taken back. I was all alone in a big city with no one to rescue me but the bag boy screaming at the front of the store (another story for another time). But since he seemed to have some availing qualities I quickly responded, "sure" . . . my first mistake.
He then asked, "What is the answer behind the apparent truth?"

After him trying to coax an answer out of my obviously confused brain he asked if i wanted him to suggest an answer. This is where I made my second mistake. Thinking his suggestion would get me out of this conversation the quickest and let me get home to make dinner, I asked him for his suggestion.

For the next 10 minutes I listened to this man tell me why the answer NOW was a good choice. He sequences of thoughts and facts eventually lead to him telling me about the difference between men and women, how me use to be married but he discovered marriage wasn't really his thing but that this gave him credentials for understanding women. He also went on to tell me that love was also a good answer because is the answer to everything. He told me that he has asked people this question all the way from Georgia to Florida. (Those are neighboring states.)

So in retrospect if I had truly wanted to make dinner in time I should have made up some strange answer similar to NOW, such as forgiveness, told the man I had no explanation for my choice and quickly jetted down the cooking isle and hide behind the unsuspecting young mother and her three children.

So far I am loving Florida, right now I am on my way to sweet bay for round two of grocery shopping.